I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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