Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
