I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you will always have a special place in my vag
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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