I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
