How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i love accidental penises.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
