you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
