Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
