I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I didn't notice because vodka
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
