I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
No subtext here. People are naked.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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