I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize