She's JV to your varsity
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
