That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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