Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
