Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize