I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
