don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize