you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
