was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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