I don't think brook has ever known best
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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