Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
