fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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