I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
