We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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