So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
