Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We are two peas in an std pod
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
