i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
