Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
