That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
