I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
