just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
