hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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