everyone is single if you try hard enough
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
