just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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