I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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