He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
