I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
