Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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