how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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