I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
her vagine was all disorganized.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
