I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
