So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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