i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
