this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize