I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this beer tastes like vomit already
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
