respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
