I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
