Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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