just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
