can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
