I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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