I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
