Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
