Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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