Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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