i'm signing you up for texting rehab
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wish i was in the wii world.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
