Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We got so high we made milksteak
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
