Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
