Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
