Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
