I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
