I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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