you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
