I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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